I am Twenty Nine years old. Actually almost Twenty Nine and a half, just seven months shy of THIRTY, and I'm freaking out.
Anxiety about Thirty is nothing new, and it certainly isn't unique to me, but when you're a musician it can take on a whole other layer of intensity. I feel like there is this societal pressure to show that I've MADE something out of my Twenties. Generally when folks talk about ticking clocks and women, their referring to the biological clock. The count down before eggs begin to deteriorate and pregnancy becomes more dangerous and less likely. That clock doesn't effect me one bit. If I am feeling maternal, I schedule a trip to visit my best friend and her kids and I'm exhausted in about five minutes, any desire to have kids of my own completely vanquished by the necessity of quiet and sleep in my life.
No my ticking clock has more to do with money, and the exact amount it would take for me to finally be able to cover all of my bills, and a Roth IRA, and have money in savings. I decided long ago not to let money dictate my life, but that doesn't mean I'm not pragmatic: girls got bills. I can't defer my student loans forever, after all, and the interest is growing, and consolidating student loans from the government is not allowed, though they can sell them off whenever they please. Being poor in your Twenties is no big, it's expected even, people love that you're following your dreams, but something about the big 3-0 makes being an artist just seem irresponsible which is a terrible thing because I am making the best art of my life right now!